The Two-Headed Rainbow
By Larrywomack.com
Two King Snakes were slithering along a dusty road at daylight when they came upon a lovely Rainbow Snake poking her head from the thicket.
“Hello, Your Majesties,” she greeted them. “Are you gentlemen lost?”
The more social of the King Snakes replies, “All who wander are not lost. We are on a quest for companionship.”
“I might be able to oblige,” says the pretty snake.
“But there is only one of you,” states the quiet one.
“Do not be deceived by my apparent singularity.”
“That is a most confusing statement?” queries the social King Snake.
“All that you now see is me, Yin. There maybe more in the thicket.”
“How can we know?”
“Bring me riches and food and you will find what you are looking for.”
“But there are two of us and only one of you?”
“Let me introduce you to Yang.”
Another lovely Rainbow Snake peeks out from of the thicket.
“Hello, Your Majesties. Having a nice day?”
“Hello,” replies the shy King Snake. “Come out, so we can better behold your beauty.”
“Impossible!” says Yin. “Until we see food and treasures.”
“She’s right, you know,” says Yang. “No food, no companionship.
The King Snakes slink away to confer.
“You go get food and I will find the treasure,” says the social snake.
“I agree,” says the shy one.
Returning to the middle of the road, the social one says, “We will return shortly with mice and fruit.”
“And I will bring treasures that will dazzle and amaze you!” says the social one. “Our offerings will be as worthy as I’m sure will be the pleasures of your company.
The King Snakes leave and Yin and Yang regale with laughter; slithering onto the roadway reveling the reality that they are two heads with only one body.
“Little do they know what they’re getting into,” says Yang.
“I want the social one,” says Yin. “I think he’s cute and probably the most gullible. I’ve had many trysts with King Snakes like him before. They are easy prey.”
“You forget that I am always with you. I know what you have and haven’t done. I don’t understand why you try to lie to me and you know I know everything you do. And, why are you all of a sudden in charge?”
“Because you had most of the fun with that viper. Now it’s my turn to pick.”
A cricket and a spider crossed the road going in opposite direction. Yin sees the cricket and Yang sees the spider. Each tries to move toward her particular prey. Yang tries harder and both heads are propelled toward the spider.
Yin, however, was closer and caught the spider in her mouth.
“Half is mine!” hollered Yang.
(Hunting, breeding, and eating are difficult for a two-headed Rainbow Snake, even if each head is after the same food, the same prey or the same mate.)
“I hate it when we are hungry at the same time,” says Yang.
“Me too,” says Yin, swallowing most of the spider. “I think I smell them coming.”
“Are you sure? I don’t smell them yet. Maybe you just smell me.”
Yin chooses not to address Yang’s comment.
After a while the two King Snakes appear in the distance dragging bags along in the dust. Yin and Yang quickly move back into the thicket.
“Hi, girls. We’re back,” says the social one.
“We didn’t get you names.” Says Yin.
“I’m Frank and he is Ernest.”
“Are those your real names or your road names?” asks Yang.
The King Snakes look puzzled.
Ernest, the shy one, says, “I don’t know what you mean. Why would we give you false names? We are who we are; on the road or not.
“You know how male snakes are. Always deceiving. You have any little serpents at home?” asks Yin.
“No little serpents, but I did have a mate. She was run over by a cart and then cut up with a sickle,” says Frank.
In an understanding voice, Yin says, “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Never have had a mate,” says Ernest.
Frank whispers, “There are some things you need to keep to yourself.”
“What do you have in the bags?” asks Yin.
“Come on out and we will show you,” answers Frank.
“You must come over here. We will only entertain you on our turf,” says Yin.
The King Snakes reluctantly oblige. The food bag is opened and it contains live mice and fermented cherries. The four continue to converse. Yin speaks mostly with Frank and Yang to Ernest. The fermented cherries elevate the playfulness and the camaraderie of the setting.
Yang asks, “Have you guys ever seen a Rainbow Snake tie a knot in a cherry stem inside her mouth?”
“I’ve heard about it but I’ve never seen it,” says Ernest.
“Let’s have a contest!” says Yin to Yang.
“What does the winner get?” asks Yang. “How about first choice from the treasure bag?”
“Great idea,” answers Yin.
The King Snakes each pass a cherry with stem along to Yin and Yang. The ladies then begin the trick of tying the cherry stems inside their mouths.
(As the ladies continue with their trick, lets take a moment for a word about Rainbow Snakes: Their behavior and facials features, especially their unblinking and lidless eyes, imply they are intelligent and live by reason. The reverse is actually true. Rainbow Snakes, though cunning, are not wise, never learn from mistakes, act on impulse and are basically consumed with avarice and pretense. That goes double for Yin and Yang)
“There!” says Yin. “I win! I win! I win, again!”
Yang stares at Yin like she could bite her head off, then turns her charm toward Ernest. “Do you live around here?”
“Oh, I live up the road. Frank and I get together one or twice a year for an adventure. On the last adventure, we went to the python wrestling matches. Would you like a mouse?”
Yin and Yang each swallow several mice and finish off the cherries.
“What’s in the treasure bag?” asks Yin.
“You both are going to have to come out in the road to see the treasure.”
“Sorry,” says Yin. “We didn’t really want any treasure. That was just a ruse to get you to bring us food.” She then start to grabs the last mouse and Yang says, “Wait a minute! You’ve already had more than me.”
Yang tries to take the mouse from Yin and as they tussle for it, they roll out of the thicket.
“My god,” says the shy one. “They are two heads on one snake!”
Unable to wrest the mouse from Yin’s mouth, Yang bites Yin on her head. The taste of blood is sweet and succulent. As Yin swallows the mouse, Yang begins to devour Yin’s head. Yin, being the strongest, as she is being swallowed and constricted into their body, begins pulling Yang’s head in with her. Within minutes the body of the two-headed Rainbow Snake is swollen with the mouse and the two heads. There is twitching and then stillness.
“What have we just witnessed?” exclaims the shy King Snake. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. Was that real?”
“It was real alright,” says the social one. “We are lucky it wasn’t us. Our greatest fortune was bringing the fermented cherries. If they hadn’t ended up in a stupor, the lumps in their belly would have been us!”
“What about the treasure you brought?” asks the shy snake. “Are we going to share it?”
“What treasure?” asks the social one. “You think I was stupid enough to bring treasure to two ladies who would even meet us in the middle of the road. The bag is filled with sticks and twigs.”
“What now?” asks the shy snake.
“Let go down to the pond and watch the copperheads catch fish. It’s about a five-minute slither from here.”
“Great idea, Robert.”
“Why thank you, Tom.”